I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
