I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
