We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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