shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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