I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
