I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
