biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
