Duck Duck Cougar?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
