i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
