the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
