Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
