I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
