She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
