i don't like sucking hair
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
