Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
