Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
