Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
