Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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