shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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