NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize