Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
