At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
