I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
