I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This baby is an asshole
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
