yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I understand Curling. That high.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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