So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
a search helicopter?!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
