Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
