Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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