Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize