The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
