No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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