You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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