bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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