WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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