Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she peed on how many people?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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