I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize