What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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