Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
