you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
