in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
