what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
