i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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