she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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