Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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