did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
