haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
