found the other keg... it's in the tree
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
