I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
