She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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