im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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