What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
