why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
