i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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