filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
