that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
