do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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