lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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