I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
